


Stark Raving Mad

by i_owe_you_a_bourbon



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 02:36:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4546899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_owe_you_a_bourbon/pseuds/i_owe_you_a_bourbon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The smirk stayed firmly in place, made all the more aggravating by the fact that his moustache seemed to be smirking too.</p>
<p>“What could I possibly help you with?” Angie asked. The more she woke up, the more irritation she was able to muster.</p>
<p>“A woman.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stark Raving Mad

A loud banging sound jolted Angie from a pleasant dream involving five llamas and a Parisian summer. “Ange!” a voice hissed from outside her room. “Hey Ange!” She cracked an eye open and stared at the clock in bleary confusion. It was two o’clock in the morning, and a voice she distinctly recognized as that of one Howard Stark was outside her door.

With a moan, she dragged herself out of bed and to the door, yanking it open so she could squint at the man on the other side in irritation. “Howard, for the last time – ” she began. 

“No no no, I’m not here to proposition you,” Howard assured her. “This time,” he added, seeing the look on her face. “I need your help.” 

“Your guard dog sleeps down the hall, go bother her.”

Howard smirked. “My guard dog isn’t sleeping. I wouldn’t want to disturb her when it sounds like she’s having so much fun.”

“And just how long were you outside her door listening?”

“Long enough to make sure that whoever she’s got in there is takin’ good care of our girl.” The smirk stayed firmly in place, made all the more aggravating by the fact that his moustache seemed to be smirking too. 

“What could I possibly help you with?” Angie asked. The more she woke up, the more irritation she was able to muster. 

“A woman.”

“Shoulda known.” She crossed her arms. “Don’t you have that fancy butler to handle these things for you?”

“My fancy butler isn’t here,” Howard informed her, looking back over his shoulder with some urgency. “I need help now.”

“She comin’ after you with a knife or something? ‘Cause I can’t say I’d blame her.”

“Worse,” Howard hissed. “She wants to marry me.”

“I’m still not seein’ a problem.”

“She won’t sleep with me until I propose.”

“And you can’t just tell her ‘no’?”

“I think you overestimate my self-control around beautiful women.”

“You’ve got a problem, Stark,” Angie informed him.

“I know. So will you help?” He gave her what he probably thought was an endearingly pleading look.

Angie briefly considered closing the door in his face and leaving him to his future bride, but then she thought about the poor woman, winding up trapped in holy matrimony with Howard Stark. She sighed “Whadda ya want me to do about it?” she asked.

“I don’t know, just get rid of her – pretend to be my jealous wife or something.” Howard’s eyes lit up at the thought.

“Yeah, bet you’d like that.” Angie shook her head at him and pushed past him into the hallway, marching off towards the living room, where she could hear soft music playing. 

A young woman looked up as Angie entered the room, starting slightly at the sight of her. “Oh!” she exclaimed. “Who are you?”

“Just the maid,” Angie said, flashing a bright smile at her and crossing the room to peer at one of Howard’s bookshelves. “Don’t mind me, just getting a book.”

The woman relaxed visibly. “Thank God,” she said. “I was afraid you were some jealous wife he’s been hiding or something.”

“No no,” Angie assured her. “I just clean up after him. I’ve slept with him, of course – you know Howard.”

The woman nodded, somewhat ruefully. “I certainly do.” 

“But once was more than enough for me,” Angie continued. “Still have a rash on my – ” She trailed off and flapped her hand at the woman. “Oh, you’ll find out all about that soon enough.” She turned her attention back the bookshelf, selected a book at random, flashed one last smile at the woman, and started back across the room.” 

“Wait,” the woman said. Angie turned back to face her. “Uh… could you… maybe tell me a little more about that rash?” 

~

When Angie returned to her billionaire in distress, he was reclined on her bed, smoking a very expensive cigar. “Is she gone?” he asked as Angie entered the room.

“She won’t be bothering you again.” Angie put her hands on her hips and gave her guest an unimpressed look. “Ya know, when your butler said you were letting us stay here, I didn’t think you’d be stayin’ with us.”

“Forgive the intrusion. We were in the neighbourhood and – ” his aggravating moustache-smirk returned “ – we couldn’t wait.”

“Apparently she could,” Angie informed him.

Howard grinned up at her and patted the bed beside him. “So now that my evening’s been cleared up, how ‘bout it, Ange?” 

“Get outta my room or I’m callin’ Peggy.”

“Alright, alright, no need for threats.” Howard got up off her bed and moved to the door. Pausing, he looked back at her. “Thanks, Angie,” he said. “You’re a real pal.”

“Not for long if you keep bargin’ in on me like this.”

Howard smiled. “Night, Ange.”

“Night, Howie.” He left the room, closing the door behind him, and Angie was overwhelmed by a sudden urge to fling it open again and drag him back to her bed. She quickly shook the thought from her mind. “It’s the damn moustache,” she muttered, switching off the light and climbing back into bed. She wasn’t planning on sleeping right away.


End file.
